The healthiest approach to self-improvement is one that works the best for you—but how can you know which one it will be? Truthfully, there is no one size that fits all the approaches to self-improvement, so you may need to do a bit of trial and error to find what will be most helpful for your situation. At the same time, an effective self-improvement journeys usually have ten basic features you should keep in mind.
- Gradual Pace
There are no quick fixes when it comes to self-improvement. Focus on self-improvement approaches that involve a gradual change to increase your odds of success.1 These approaches typically let you focus on one change at a time, and you only move on to the next change when you’ve become confident with the earlier change in your life.
Gradual self-improvement also breaks things down into easier steps, just like in high school and college when you would break down your assignments to make them more manageable.
For example, simply planning to go gym three times a week to help improve on your mental health may feel like too big of a step at the start. Instead, a gradual plan might have you choosing clothes to wear to the gym, choose your days and times you will go, and plan out your workouts in advance so that you don’t feel overwhelmed once your there.
Another way that self-improvement can be gradual is to think of the smallest change you could make in a positive direction, or how you can improve by just one percent at a time. For example, if you want to become a more social person, you might make a point of introducing yourself to one new person each month.
A better change to implement would be one that does not require ongoing effort from you but rather than a one-time implementation— means getting out and being social without having to put effort into figuring out new plans and new people to meet every week or month.
- Goal-Oriented
There is little point in embarking on a self-improvement quest if you don’t have a goal in mind. However, it is important that you choose a goal that is compelling for you and that also feels attainable.
This often means starting with a big, “dream” goal and working backward from there to identify smaller goals along the path toward that big goal. Having a set of goals will keep you motivated at times that you may not and feel like quitting.1
Get Advice from The Verywell Mind Podcast
Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares a technique that will help you reach your goals.
- Accountability
The best self-improvement plans involve a commitment on your part. The ideal way to set those commitments is to write them down or make a verbal promise to someone close to you e.g., an accountability partner.2
Below is an example of an accountability statement:
“I am making a commitment to my mental health by reading for five pages each morning after 5 minutes of meditation. This is part of a larger goal I must include more mindfulness into my life.”
- Plan for Obstacles
Obstacles will always arise when you’ve made plans and goals. Staying on track requires you to identify the obstacles you are likely to face and having a plan to deal with them.
In this way, the best self-improvement approaches involve awareness that things will not always go as smooth and that you must be able to adjust accordingly. They will also have a list coping strategy to deal with those obstacles in a concrete way.
- Rewards for Success
Beyond the reward of improving yourself, many self-improvement approaches incorporate some sort of reward for behavior.1
A common example would be rewarding weight loss with a reward; with mental wellness, rewards for sticking to a self-help regime could include anything that would motivate you—it is up to you to figure out what that is.
- Evidence-Based
Perhaps most importantly, the healthiest self-improvement approaches will be grounded in research evidence. While it may be tempting to follow “gurus” who promise miracle cures, approaches that have been backed by well-controlled research trials are the ones that are likely to show the benefit.
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques are a good example. There is robust research evidence supporting the effects of CBT, so you can use this approach more comfortably in the knowledge that it has been shown to work.3
If you are interested in learning more about changes you can make based on research evidence, Richard Wiseman’s book 59 Seconds converts research into practice with tips on how to change your life in under a minute.
- Personalized for You
Regardless of how well-researched an approach is, if it is not a good fit for you, you won’t find it helpful. Each of us have a unique situation in terms of our personality and culture. that will influence our choices with our self-improvement—and rightly so. What works for your neighbour may not necessarily work for you.
This often comes down to a gut feeling you may have or the level of comfort with a particular approach. If you’re an artistic person, you might find art therapy approaches such enjoyable. If you are more a numbers person, you might enjoy approaches that have you tracking behaviours or measuring success in some tangible form. You can figure this out through trial and error or self-assess and try to match up with self-improvement that aligns with your personal traits.
- Self-Awareness
Unless you are working with a therapist or coach, it will be up to you to plan for your self-improvement. This is hard to do if you don’t first have self-awareness about what is wrong and what you are trying to change.
Usually, self-awareness takes place in three certain areas: cognitive, physical, and emotional. When you can recognize those areas in which you are struggling, and have compassion for yourself, you will be better able to plan for change. In this way, the healthiest self-improvement plans will involve a step in which you sit down and get self-aware.
For example, if you struggle with disorganization in your life, before embarking on a plan for self-improvement, you might want to identify the thoughts you have (e.g., I am a messy person), how they make you.
Being compassionate toward yourself will enable you to plan and fix issues that are standing between you and your goals.
- An Action Plan
The healthiest self-improvement approaches will give you concrete steps or an action plan for achieving your goals. It is not enough to identify goals—without an action plan to reach those goals you will be left languishing.
Life coaches or wellness coaches are particularly suited to helping you create an action plan for self-improvement. This could involve creating an overall plan that incorporates various strategies such as mindfulness, exercise, and cognitive restructuring (reworking your thoughts to improve your mental health).
- A Boost in Optimism
A self-improvement approach makes you optimistic and is often the healthiest path to take. Typically, approaches that incorporate some form of mindfulness, and self-awareness are more likely to cultivate confidence. Approaches based on the branch of psychology known as positive psychology focus on this aspect of self-improvement. If you’re wanting to focus on optimism, choose a self-improvement approach from this domain.
Finally, remember that any movement in a positive direction is progress no matter how small or how long it takes. It is better to follow a plan for self-improvement that has the above qualities and takes a bit more time than to try for a quick cure. The time and effort you invest will be rewarded in the end.